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Ned is not dead: A man’s quest to show the Social Security Administration he’s alive and kicking

Seattle CNN —

Ned Johnson is not dead. The 82-year-old proved as much by bounding across a Seattle sidewalk to greet us with a firm handshake and a broad grin. But Ned was declared dead last month by the Social Security Administration, which led him and his wife on a Kafkaesque quest to prove there’s life left in this salty old Seattle seadog yet.

Ned has spent his life building business and sailing the world’s oceans, and he’s spent the past few weeks proving to bureaucrats and reporters that he’s still very much alive.

“There’s been a lot of gallows humor,” giggled Ned’s equally spry wife, Pamela. But there’s also been some serious red tape to reverse.

“You’re on the dead list,” deadpanned Ned, who is suspicious that all this might somehow be connected to President Donald Trump’s declarations that there are thousands of dead centenarians still collecting Social Security payments: false assertions enthusiastically parroted by the president’s dogged DOGE lieutenant, Elon Musk.

Trump told a crowd in Florida last month, “There is one person on Social Security who is 360 years old.” And the president said during his recent address to Congress, “We’re gonna find where that money is going and it won’t be pretty.”

DOGE now has at least 10 staffers working inside