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Elon Musk only wishes he made America’s biggest, most absurd car. I drove it—and lost my mind. Joe—my commanding officer for the day, all buzz-cut and uniform—pulled the vehicle around. It was big, all right. He had chosen this one from a fleet of 10, staged in formation, different colors, awaiting deployment. I had requested the most powerful of the bunch, and here it was: huge, imposing, rolling toward me, silent. The sky was steely, a warmer-than-usual spring day in south Florida. The vehicle was gray—“meteorite metallic,” actually. I faced forward and watched it approach head-on. The LED headlights, less blinding in the glare of the afternoon, lit up the grill like high-octane veneers. The whole thing was almost 8 feet wide exactly and stood 6 feet, 7 inches tall. The front end, which was also a trunk, came up right to my rib cage, a contact point that would have chagrined any high school football coach as bad tackling form: too high. Two bright red tow hooks punctuated the facade. Joe parked and climbed back down to Earth. My turn. I gripped handles on the door and the frame and pulled myself up into the driver’s seat. Despite being taller than 6 feet myself, I needed two tries to get all the way up and in. But I made it and fastened my seat belt. And thus I had at my
Monday, 06/23/2025, Video Clip |
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